The Great Outdoors and A Bright Future

The days of Hong Kong have been over for a few years. As my life has shifted dramatically in the last three of my life, it is time to start a jump back into writing. My new home can be found on my South African blog documenting my travels through Botswana, South Africa and Mozambique as well as the adventurous destinations which await those who are not weary. Follow if you so choose: http://academiaenafriqueadventures.wordpress.com

September Speculates

My small, dimly lit lectern guides my steps as I reflect on the daily tremblings of a teacher, as well as a student. The duality of it is not so distinct - I can't tell the difference. Aren't we all still learning?

Today I woke up with a bit of a headache, but I was just simply glad to be in the middle of a nice day, with not too much rain. I've begun a few small projects lately in the language arts. In order to improve myself, I've taken to reading some new texts in French and Spanish (One being "Twilight", the uber popular Vampire series, otherwise known as "Crepusculo," the other a simple textbook.) I once was proficient in one of these languages, the former merely a whisper of understanding. I also mused on how to involve myself sooner rather than later in the cultural vida of Hong Kong's enthusiastic heartbeat. It can be so easy to accept invites to soirees, barbeques, birthday functions, holidays, and dinners with friends, but what about attending plays, reading books, discovering visual or performance masterpieces? Hence, I pre-registered for the Fine Art Asia Fair on October 3rd today, complimentary. How marvellous! It makes me feel refreshed already.

In this city who never slows down for a hot minute, it is undeniably necessary to rest. She is a monster, this Hong Kong, relishing the collective mix of people all after their place in this mess - off to work, off to school, off to shop (haha)...Isn't that the truth? She merely laughs at us as we trample over each other to make it to the next hectic destination. These days, I practically run down the sidewalks, to keep up with the bobbing umbrellas, tear-stained streets from acid rainfall, and slippery pedestrians trying to go here or there.

And so today, I rest. Especially after my brief window of calm when I was with my loving, exuberant, centered, and never dull family in California - I feel grounded. In the knowledge of all that is true and sacred - real relationships - I know I can slow down to enjoy life and all God has to offer. So cheers to all of you who make me smile - you're such a blessing: you all know who you are!

Surf and Sand - Proof of Life Off the Main Island

Life as I know it has been progressing at a lightning pace. Consequently, the lack of writing has reflected my zeal for participation over observation in its activities. My list of students continues to grow as I take on new one-on-one sessions, but beginning Summer Courses at school in just a two weeks - International Affairs, Literature through Film, and History, to name a few. June has started and a new rhythm takes place: Yawn, wake up, read an IB text for school lessons, shower, step outside, (need another shower) step lightly through the dense humidity, go to school, breathe in the suffocating air conditioning, teach, step outside, remember why I stayed inside, breathe in the suffocating sweat at the gym, 15 minutes of cardio, pump some iron for another 15 minutes, stand on my head for 60 seconds, 30 minutes of conditioning, sit ups, another shower, step lightly through the dense humidity, then run through the dense humidity, eat a cup of noodles (a staple), take another shower, moisturize dry skin (Why do I need to do that when there is so much moisture outside? I don't know), watch Animal Planet or HBO asia, maybe finish a little more reading, go to sleep....



Did anyone catch how many showers I take in a day? arrrrrrrrrrrrrgh.

My office (below)



Just a week or so ago, a group of fifteen departed Pier 9 to see a small island past the Hong Kong main island; we enjoyed grey skies and a crisp wind. It rained the night before the Super Fun Day Out. But, I didn't care. Somehow it was a sign of good will - and despite the cloudiness that followed us out into the harbor the next morning, we were all in high spirits. The occasion? A friend's wife was in town just for a month before leaving Hong Kong. The couple will be moving back to Aussie country in just another 30-60 days. It is amazing how many Hong Kong residents are expatriates moving back and forth from different countries around the world. I would not be surprised at all if both move back in another few years.

The sunshine peeked out from the clouds intermittently and we managed to get a bit tanned red. Consequently, I was sunburned for the past few weeks. The best part was the jump into the water- diving, laughing, and all slick from the rain (Yes, it rained -- it won't stop pouring in HK!!! Make it stop!!) We may not have had a chance to windsurf, wakeboard, or wander around because of the strange weather, however, it was a lovely day. Highlights: red sangria and sundeck relaxing before the rainfall, five of us diving in swift simultaneous perfection into the swirling waters below off the top deck, a $500 prize for who could do a double back flip off the boat, (No one was succesfful.) catching teeny tiny fish on one side of the rocking boat during the rain, shrimp salad, potato salad, and chicken kebabs (with a sort of satay sauce - yumm), water fight a half hour before docking at the day's end, the naps on different cabin hideaways and in/on/around the boat, and the lovely view of the main island upon pier arrival.



A few arts festivals and events have come to Hong Kong recently. The HK International Arts Festival presented works from international galleries in Japan, Thailand, United States, Canada, France, Spain, just to name a few. My friend toured the warehouse in Wan Chai where these art pieces were showcased: paintings, light installations, and photographs lined these walls and hallways. It was such a pleasure to gawk at these works. Not all art is impressive to me, but to have so much at your fingertips gives you the gift of choosing one or two to stare longingly at. Art has a way of speaking to one's soul. I don't know how it manages to make such an impression on me each and every time, but I will feel contented, uplifted and sublimely thoughtful when I'm in its presence. Simon Birch, a popular English artist who has been living in Hong Kong since 1997 recently had an exhibit space art show called "Hope and Glory," which was an ode to the hero's journey. Simon is a friend of several of the people I spend time with and I was quite impressed with his art pieces. He is an accompished painter, but he also used the aid of many of his friends to create some interesting quasi-virtual art. As referenced from Birch's art brochure, Valerie Doran comments on the region of the the journey, as a massive, "immersive environment."For example, there was a green room which showed up looking like a grid (glow-in-the-dark living room) where the audience can sit and watch two videos on the death of an artist and a satire of American Idol about an artist. (Irony: Simon Birch is still alive and he enlisted the aid of dramatic tears and fascinating comments on the purpose or impact of his supposed termination.) There was a chasm created by a skateboard ramp where space ships sailed over, and they showed an eventual crash to a pile of residue or rubble, as any war. The collateral damage of these hanging warships was a strange culmination to the journey of our hero. I was not-so-surprisingly brought in by the reference one of my classic favorite sci fi films, Star Wars. (I will show these photos in my next blog. Valerie Doran states that Simon has constructed art, which "embodies the realm of wonder (in both its dark and light manifestations)... the paradox is that (like any circus) the physical materials from which this experience is created are mundane, of the present world: wood and paint, plastc and metial, computers and holograms. What this means, of course, is that the tools to transport ourselves are already here with us. We only need to understand and assemble them in a new way."



My thoughts: break away. Art can take you there.

The Flying Breakfast and Foggy Foody Days

Revisiting my online journey through Hong Kong on this lovely April evening, the topic for today is food. I am not certain I've dedicated enough time to this subject as my success and happiness has been quite inspired by its presence. Lately, it seems that the abundance of meals has been giving me the vital energy to survive fruitfully in this crazy urban jungle. And so I will relate a couple stories about one of my passions - delectable, edible eats.

Story 1: Belgian Waffles Inspire Laughter
It seems like only yesterday I was sitting down with a quite familiar face in a favourite breakfast spot, one afternoon at The Flying Pan. Who eats breakfast in the morning anyway? This is an exceptional spot in the SoHo district where you can order omelettes, pancakes, many juices, and bottomless coffee and all for a very reasonable price. If you can even ask for more, they provide sides of grilled tomato, baked beans, green salads, or lyonaise potato. Every meal comes with two additional choices and a heavenly cup of pineapple, apple, orange, or a million other varieties I cannot recall...It is a very English spot, but they have the Latin side, the Mexican twist, the French, or the American breakfast versions with tons of syrup and lots of sides, if you wish to over-indulge. The best part of this meal was the face smiling back at me. I'd been to Flying Pan a few times, but today I could not decide on what to order. In a particular quandry - triple pancakes with the sweetness of butter or belgian waffles and ripe red strawberries? On this day just like any other, the familiar dark hair and grin across the table smirked as I asked what choice to make. In true fashion, he made the harrowing decision to order one and I'd order the other, a share - a compromise. Right?! Only we could not decide who would get the Belgian side. It was finally agreed that I had the more desperate need to be Belgian. Two waffles for me and one pancake.

He would sacrifice with two pancakes and one waffle.

Oh, my. I felt a bit selfish, (and I'm certain I was!) but blessed. I just thought, How lucky am I! It was one of those moments where you can feel the smile before it overtakes you. You realize how silly you sound. Two waffles!? You grab your sides and your body shakes with all that energy and love because someone has given you the gift of laughter. I thought I was going to burst. It seemed like God had shed some light on what I wanted so much out of in that split second - connections, real connections with those you care for, the passion for the little insignificant things like waffles and the significant things like family, all at once. A small thing can be part of a small moment. But it isn't small somehow. It is big. It means so much more. In that laughter, I felt like time stood still.

That's how I knew I was happy the one sitting across the table was my boyfriend. If you knew this character, you would agree. He may be intelligent, and funny, but the laughter and kindness in his eyes is what really gives me that enthusiasm and enjoyment. A dear friend and yet so much more.

And yes, I did eat both waffles. And I tried to eat his. He forgave me. (I think.)

Story 2: Jurassic Park
Two weeks ago, a group of us took a taxi cab to the remote greenery of Sai Kung. We woke up late on a weekend afternoon, traveled the forty-five minutes to a distant and relatively uninhabited area of the city to skewer a few pieces of meat. (Uninhabited is a word used here more as a reflection on the opposition of the great no. of people swarming Central - ah! City life.) Upon arrival in these outlying lands, the grey, thick clouds descended upon the streets and parks we saw from the cab's dinghy windows. Although there was not rain for several hours, the fog gave this nearby park an early morning dew feel. We stepped out gingerly, and the driver took off - banging down the road. He probably was excited to return to civilization. As for myself, I soaked in the climate here. The moisture was felt everywhere. With a few companions by my side, we set up our apple tea, racks of lamb, quail, steak, and enokitake mushrooms. Nick had prepared slow, pressure-cooked delicious ribs and macaroni salad, and another smart friend had remembered soft, sweet, luscious marshmallows for later!

The array of options was making my mouth water. However, the fog in the not-so-far distance was quite distracting for all of us. It made us feel we had to keep our voices quiet as we started a fire and began the barbeque. There were two words hanging in the air, as we waited for some long-distinct species to come out of the misty woods - Jurassic Park, we laughingly called it. While the photo you see here shows a rather different portrayal of a summer's day, we found ourselves in the midst of a shadowy winter day at a melancholy beach. Above the ocean water and surrounded by good friends and a small fire, we were simply focused on the food. Yummm.... It is hard to describe a good barbeque only because it is an example of such a perfect day. What if one ruins by shedding too much downcast energy on the fog? The meat was cooked with excellence and scrumptious accuracy, the friends and company were electrifying, and the fog rolled on. The clouds were more a source of comedic discussion than anything else...Who could ask for more? Well, I did!

I asked for rain and it appeared. Drip, drop. Clip, clop. A few hours after we'd polished off a few tons ribs and the macaroni salad and stuffed in those fluffy, toasty marshmallows and we were pushed into a cab with our overstuffed stomachs and greedy, yawning mouths. I took a nap on the way home. It was the best slumber I've had in months. I woke up a few days later and had a monster burger at a gourmet fast food place. I just can't get enough!!

Red Envelopes and Chinese Jollification

The Lunar New Year holiday is ending and even though everyone seems to be back in town from the fantastic travels of sunshine-laden coastlines and snow-driven skiing and snowboarding in Bangkok, Tokyo, and Sydney, the spirit of the Year of the Tiger is all around. In Chinese culture, there are a lot of special customs that weigh in. Red is the color of good luck and you will see it emblazoned in banners, lanterns, and a special gift given during this time of year, called Lai See in Cantonese, or 紅包. Lai See is a gift that approaches in the form of a crimson red envelope to symbolize not only good luck but also prosperity, and the warding off of evil spirits. Each packet contains a gift of money and is usually in the form of a single bill, either folded once, or not at all so as to hide its contents when the envelope is presented to someone. Even though many of the expatriates that emigrate to China and/or a nation (SAR) such as Hong Kong are not Chinese, one can still receive Lai See as an expatriate. As the custom goes, these red packets are presented by married Chinese couples to those who are single and gives the couple properity for their marriage. A young Chinese couple will also give their elders Lai See as a sign of respect in a series of family dinners. The Lunar New Year very much serves the purpose traditional Christmases in the United States do for the nuclear family - gift giving, family dinners, and a chance to spend time with loved ones in gatherings, singing, parties, and laughter.

As an American, I did not really expect to receive any Lai See, but I have counted a number of (5) Lai See I have received. An interesting side note is that even numbers are preferred for good luck, so most of the time you receive Lai See, it is often given in the form of two red envelopes by the giver. Lai See is also a symbol of happiness and is given in greater form by couples in their first year of marriage so they can have a successful start for their life together. Most of my Lai See was received by young couples who were recently married, so that was a welcome surprise and made me feel a part of this special, unique culture.

Last week during the time when many were spending time with family or traveling to exotic destinations in Asia or nearby continents, a few of my friends were able to celebrate Chinese New Year (Kung Hei Fat Choy!) in Hong Kong fashion. I had a chance to attend a few dinners and go dancing, but one of my favorite things to see and be seen during was the Lion Dance we witnessed at Dragon-i.1 This is a nearby restaurant and lounge in the evenings. Performers mimic a lion's movements dressed in a traditional costume and dance around to cultural drum beats. Supposedly, many of the performers are from local Kung Fu clubs. This is not surprising, as martial artists fly to Hong Kong from around the world to dazzle the local folk with parades as well. Alas! I did not see any parades or fireworks since none of my friends were excited about that and the crowds were thick.

Valentine's Weekend fell on the same few days during the Chinese New Year holiday. A few of my girlfriends took me to a special soiree at the W Hotel and later, to a dinner in the Central District with very American food. It was quite hilarious. A chicken hot dog with mustard, souerkraut, and French Fries with parmesan cheese and a few lbs later...I was missing the junk food I never eat. It seemed appropriate to spend it with the girls. Interestingly enough, I have met someone special who I did not spend the Valentine's holiday with but took me to dinner at Sushi Kuu recently to make up for it, as he was out of town. Sushi is also a very Californian novelty. There are only a few in the city I've discovered with fresh seafood and not so much of that dripping, rich mayonnaise they cover the so-so sashimi and sushi with. (To disguise its not so proper taste.)

All in all, the Chinese New Year was quite auspicious for me, and I continue to be amazed as the essence of Hong Kong and Cantonese culture is creeping up to me. My life is full of laughter and love each day, and I am so thankful.

1 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lion_dance
The lion dance originated in India[citation needed] [2][3][4]. The lion is traditionally regarded as a guardian creature. It is featured in Buddhist lore, being the mount of Manjusri. Shishimai is a version of the Lion Dance practiced in Japanese culture (shishimai originally included danced involving other animal symbols, including deer).[1][2]

Chinese lion dances can be broadly categorised into two styles, Northern (北獅) and Southern (南獅). The Northern dance was used as entertainment for the imperial court and elsewhere. The northern lion is usually red, orange, and yellow (sometimes with green fur for the female lion), shaggy in appearance, with a golden head. The northern dance is acrobatic and may include dangerous stunts.

Southern dance is more symbolic. It is usually performed as a ceremony to exorcise evil spirits and to summon luck and fortune. The southern lion exhibits a wide variety of colour and has a distinctive head with large eyes, a mirror on the forehead, and a single horn at center of the head.

Rain, Please Come and Stay

My ear presses to the window with my nose feeling the chill from the outside. Despite the fact that the weather changes from day to day, I still love the sound of the rain. It comes and goes, but it is lovely to listen to when I'm trying to sleep. Ah! The melodic sound of rain...so comforting. I came down with some version of the flu and/or fever last week, so I'm finally in the mood to write once more. A few weeks ago, one of my California friends was traveling through Asia with two Americans: Cambodia, India, Japan, Thailand, Hong Kong,and Macau made the warpath. I was surprised to discover just how much shopping they did while in Thailand and a few other destinations. I never knew one could get so much joy out of it. However, we did visit the Night Market while they were here.

The Night Market is apparently a favorite tourist spot, as well as shopping spot for locals. It is located on Temple Street in Kowloon and has everything from Simpsons and Hello Kitty key chains to t-shirts with iron-pressed caricatures of Obama in Republic of China attire. Very odd, but educating, I suppose. I am not certain I want to repeat some of the strange messages I read on this apparel. The shops are spread out like the Orange County swap meet I recall from younger days, where I used to swing by outdoor stalls on a Saturday afternoon sometimes. It was my first time being a tour guide in Hong Kong since I'm still the amateur resident here. Hardly adept at knowing all the best places to visit. I showed my friends a place in the Central District for an evening meal called "Rat Alley", which is just off of the main street of Lan Kwai Fong. We had a bite to eat in Thai fashion, with rice noodles and spring rolls. Afterwards, we had a cocktail at an English pub on Hollywood Road, and took a quick stroll to the top of the LKF Hotel, at Azure, where we can see a grand view of the skyscrapers on the twenty-ninth floor. Azure is a fun spot to see since they have an outdoor patio, and a quiet, Zen-like waterfall. You can stay inside the lounge, if you'd like to relax and have appetizers, but it is mainly a must-see for the vista. It is also quite a nice place to reflect on all things good and bad, when you want some peace and quiet. Not too many people are on the patio at once, and the stair way up to the view shows the beautiful interior design, as well.







Two saturdays ago, I also had the opportunity to see a different side of Hong Kong -- the greenery. A few of us took a cab ride out to Violet Hill to hike The Twins. This was an hour and twenty-minute trek through two hills, overlooking Repulse Bay, and ultimately, Stanley. The trek had many different types of terrain - an even, easy hike with some downhill strides, rocks, and a steep incline at the end to endure. The climax is the "Thousand Steps", which allows you to climb the final Twin. The actual steps number as to 972, but who's counting when you're almost reaching a thousand? I regret to inform my readership that the trek took an hour and forty minutes for my hiking group, most likely on my account. I don't think I've been on a hike in over a year and did have to take a few minutes to catch my breath mid-incline on the 500th step or so. What pride I had when I did finally make it to the top! The vista was so incredible, and the weather was clear for Wintertime in Hong Kong. I could see much of the sea, and the altitude made the air crisp and delightful. I will give myself this much - I still had my humor upon finishing. Someone accurately guessed that I may never have made it, when I finished, sweating onto my glistening, burnished red skin and smiling with one of those childish grins. I joked that there was an excellent plateau after Step No. 972 where I could catch my final stride, huffing and puffing with the cover of many a bush, before turning the corner and saying, "Hey Guys! No sweat. What took you so long? I had to slow down to make sure you all got to the finish line before me."

That makes me a good sport. (haha)



We were all rewarded with the most delicious luncheon in Stanley, when we finally reached ground level once more, from our ascent. Food never tastes so good as after a strenuous hike. There is a quick bus ride one can take into this little seaside town, which also is known for its shopping and I even picked up some tourist-esque postcards to impress my family with - here's a Hong Kong skyline, there's a Hong Kong skyline, everywhere a Hong Kong skyline! A cityscape to decorate your living room with for you and you and you...

Last Sunday I visited a restaurant with special flavors. This restaurant did not use onion, garlic, or meat, in any of its dishes. The place had a buddhist design with feng shui inspired outline and included tables with floor seating. Pure Veggie was the name of the dining experience and there were many leafy green vegetables, as well as chili sauces, roasted eggplant, zucchini and casserole-inspired meal. Yes, there were a few carbohydrates, but mainly lots of veggie-goodness. Oh, you have to try this! My vegetarian friend usually ordered pizza with cheese only and extra chili or received a cucumber roll when we attend a sushi spot. But now I was in his domain! I'm definitely taking all of my American friends here. What a treat!

Besides seeing unique views of the city, I'm also settling in more with my friendships here. The holidays were everything I'd hoped for, being in a strange country. There was lots of joy and fun, with glasses clinking to the tune of holiday music and relationships no longer merely sprouts, but now blossoming buds. One of my friends had a birthday recently and when I called her to wish well, she sent me a message saying how happy she was I lived in Hong Kong. I'm certainly learning a lot about the people, the food, the lifestyle, and what newness this life has in store for me. There's always room for more life in this life.




1 Night Market www.hongkongtravelonline.com/wp-content/upload
2 Jordan - Temple Street http://www.filigallery.com/d/101953-2/HK%2BTemple%2Bstreet-12.JPG&imgrefurl=http://www.filination.com/blog/category/the-world/asia/hong-kong/&usg=__nocvMlYuTwYQllQr9ewVZpoOSYA=&h=300&w=400&sz=47&hl=en&start=3&um=1&tbnid=9FAfSLuGW60KMM:&tbnh=93&tbnw=124&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dnight%2Bmarket%2Bjordan%2Bhong%2Bkong%26hl%3Den%26lr%3D%26sa%3DN%26um%3D1


3 The Peak: Violet Hill ttp://www.premierholidays.co.uk/__data/assets/image/0007/94048/Hong_KongThe_Peak.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.premierholidays.co.uk/far_east/hong_kong&usg=__Bb6lj7zUWwK6D6itQ-FAtGqwi7A=&h=310&w=420&sz=49&hl=en&start=10&um=1&tbnid=csIJ2qg-DL_emM:&tbnh=92&tbnw=125&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dthe%2Bpeak%2Bhong%2Bkong%26hl%3Den%26lr%3D%26sa%3DN%26um%3D1

A Love Letter For Christmas

"Said the Shepherd Boy to the Mighty King, 'Do you hear what I hear in your palace wall, Mighty King?'
'A child, a child, shivering in the cold, let us bring Him silver and gold.'" 1

So many seasons ago, when there was a star shining brightly in the sky, shepherds wondered the reason for Angels appearing in the fields at night. I wonder, were they scared? How long did they ponder this sudden shock? Did they truly understand the meaning of the child they were to bring gifts to? In today's world, with the story given to us each Christmas, I wonder if we really take the time to observe our own behavior. If we celebrate as a people who know why Christmas is special. I know not everyone celebrates Christmas and there are many different people, belief systems, faiths, and reasons for living and believing as we do. As one who cherishes Christmas, I must say that spending the holidays without my loved ones this year is hard, but I am certain this has a purpose, as well. As one who holds that God gave us the best present of all centuries ago, I am always determined to celebrate by giving as much of myself as possible. Sure -- sweaters, scarves, iPhones, glittery lip gloss, and pretty cookie tins are nice, but there's more. I want to give each day, but it is so easy not to. I want my family and friends to know the love I hold for them every day of the year. Getting a letter from my sister is so much better than receiving a well written instruction manual (even if it does come with a brand new Macbook pro). Being able to hear my family's voices on speakerphone for Thanksgiving just one month ago. These are a few of my favorite things. Christmas reminds me of the many blessings in my life.

Years after that very first Christmas, as we celebrate the birth of this special child, there are all sorts of questions we may still have. I still marvel over the celebration of a little baby boy. I have faith that this child is the reason I have the capacity to love so many others, that my heart bursts with the anticipation of seeing, hearing those I love. Now that I am far away from many, I have the joy, the anticipation of when I can be writing and be written to from those I love. God gives me this - this faith, this reason for living. I have a strong belief that I am taken care of no matter where I go because of this faith. Not only this relationship I have, but also the relationships I have here on Earth. What if I had never had the mom and dad I have today? What if I wasn't blessed with the friendships, the tears, the joys of the last twenty eight years? I might have turned out so differently.

It is such a miracle I am in Hong Kong this Christmas and get to share the gift of language to little children. How did I get here? Why was I chosen to give so much? To learn so much? And how did I end up in a Santa suit? These are all questions I wish I could answer. (haha) I still can't believe myself sometimes. Yet, here I am. There's no denying it. I am enjoying so much out here, and yet missing all of my sisters and brothers at home. I know how corny these sentiments are, but every once in a while, clarity of mind is a cliche. The one thing that may never be cliche, though, is an artistic expression that can communicate vividly through a medium bigger than words. Language is not always enough for expression. I leave you with a simple love letter addressed to you, in photographs, and with the soundtrack of my favorite Christmas song, "O Holy Night," that the sound might speak to the depths of your heart.

And so, I pray for peace and love for all of you this Christmas and every day of the year.

"Said the King to the people everywhere, 'Listen to what I say. Pray for peace everywhere....He will bring us Goodness and Light.'" 2


1 "Do You Hear What I Hear?", The Carpenters http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NWiA_79feKs
2 Ibid.

The Umbrella Garden

It was raining incessantly when I stepped outside of my building Wednesday morning. Scratch that -- Did I say it was raining incessantly, I meant it was drizzling. Drizzling, yes. I was on my way to the Kowloon island where I will be teaching in a few weeks at a Montessori school. One foot in front of the other, I found my way through the streets and small puddles everywhere. Splish, splash. Little droplets of water fell on my head, and more than normal. In Hong Kong, the air conditioning vents all have leftover residue falling into your hair, and more unfortunately, in your eye at times. Yuck. Wednesday, it wasn't just A/C coolant, but acid rain. Oh joy. The worst of it was the professional attire I chose for the outing. I was performing a trial lesson plan in front of the kids and the school principal, so I chose a blue silk dress, warm grey tights and a blazer. The flimsy blazer material was simply not enough, and the black scarf I finished off the look with couldn't keep my neck from feeling the goosebumps underneath my clothes. But - wait. The best part about the walk in that day's rain was the crossing from outdoor Sheung Wan (My home neighborhood) to the metro. It is a five minute walk to the MTR rail station and I kept trying to quicken my steps. The puddles were not as much of a distraction as the people and their umbrellas. The streets are narrow, and the sidewalks even narrower. Despite the small amount of drizzle, everyone seemed to be scared of the rain. And then, the entrance to the metro loomed in front of me and there was a large outcropping of these pink, green, blue, black, polka dotted umbrellas. It was as if there was one large misshapen tent in front of me in an unusual sequence of color. As soon as people would march up the steps to get out of the metro underground into Sheung Wan, another umbrella would burst open and poke its way out into the fresh air. I thought I was going to find my eyeball rolling around on the ground at any moment. I kept hearing that line from A Christmas Story about the dangerous BB gun the kid keeps messing with: "You're going to poke someone's eye out." Um yes. Mine. And so, that is how I survived with my face still intact. Eyes in head. Check. Hair damp. Check. Frozen Nose. Check. Blue lips. Check.

I took a ferry ride across the harbor and braved the frigid ice path across the water. Perhaps turtlenecks and five scarves per day are in order. We learn our lessons hard. The path from arrival at Hong Hum Pier was a quick jaunt to Whanpoa Garden, where the principal observed me and gave the final confirmation that I can begin teaching her kindergarten class in January. I'm quite excited because although the Learning Centre has been a pleasure to work with, the management's organization skills have been left wanting. Since I was on a three-month probation, I have leave to start work as a teacher at the new school and remain teaching some smaller classrooms on Saturday. I'm looking forward to the change, but aware that I will probably have many days of exhaustion ahead of me. In the meantime, I am quite excited about Christmas and New Year's in Hong Kong. I recently came across a church I enjoy, and now have a place to celebrate the birth of Christ for service and carols. Ah, what splendor! I love being able to sing and praise, as well as discuss the meaning of giving and love. Christmas is such a special time, and although I'll be away from so many I love, I am in the hope that the distance could not separate us from how much affection there is and will always remain between us.

Today I had my first skype chat with a California friend today, and I must say I'm so grateful for this technology. Life's little quirks makes it so that we don't always get to be near the ones we care for, but I call it a quirk simply because I know I will be with all the ones I adore soon. In the grand scheme of things, my trip to Hong Kong is a hiccup. I still plan on coming home for my dear friend Liz's wedding in February, and to be in California's great sunshine. I miss so many at home: my sisters Annette, Suzy, Mom, Dad, my new brother-in-laws, Sean and Austin, Liz (greeban), Liz (bell), Janie Jane, Rachel, Nikki (I always miss Nikki so even though she's not in California), Andrew, my favorite co-worker from JT's, my cousins, Ray, Johnny, Noel, my grandparents, Oma and Omi, my adopted grandparents, and Tante Vonny, Oom Frans, my aunts and uncles Franny, Bernard, cousins Mea, Frank, my tennis partners, Kevin, Aaron, Brandon, Brett, so many I worked with for the last few months in California, and my Newport Beach friends... And so I wish all of you a very merry Christmas.

"I cannot go back to yesterday..."

"...because I was a different person then." - Lewis Carroll

Adjusting to Hong Kong is taking some time. I considered today how many changes I have been going through. There are all these people who talk about taking adventures. I'm actually on one of those real-life adventures I've always talked about, and sometimes it does not feel real. Like I just dropped through the looking glass by accident and here I am. Why did I do what I'm doing? I'm supposed to be an adult, with the resources to handle any sort of problem or thought. To work it out in my head. But, what if I fail? What then? I don't always feel like an adult. I feel like a child with big eyes, wondering how I got here, and what happens next...A child who is a stranger to all these mad hatters, philosophical caterpillars, and cheshire cats.

But, I will say this. I am so very happy. Despite how much there is to learn, I feel like all the tough hurdles of the first month of adjustment have made me better prepared for the cultural differences, what to expect of people and how I can live in this strange country. My friend Erick has introduced me to so many great people and I keep bumping into recent acquaintances when I walk down the street or get a cup of coffee or sit down at a comfy lounge with my book or laptop. The city is smaller than I know! I'm having a lunch with a recent acquaintance today at this spot in the IFC Mall (International Finance Center) which serves healthy food. I will say this much - good people make the trip out here worthwhile, but sometimes good food makes everything so much BETTER. I've been healthy, with a hint of a cough only once a week or so since the dreaded cold I had, but I bought a heater, so if I need it, I can make my room at home in the flat nice and toasty. MMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmm. It has air conditioning too...ah! What blessings. I alternate between the A/C and the heater since the room is so small it needs circulation constantly.


Random photo taken of my blissfully crazy-happy face! (My friend Liz from home commented that it looks so "Me", so I had to upload it.)


As for going "back to yesterday", there are things I miss about home, especially as Christmas is around the corner. But, I am grateful for what today brings - I'm learning. I'm growing. My family recently sent me some things I needed from California and were gracious enough to include a pillow from their house with the star of Bethlehem and "silent night" drawn on it, as well as my favorite holiday ornament of Sleeping Beauty. Ah! I almost had tears glistening on that pillow when I saw it in the box. It is always the smallest, considerate acts of kindness that make a person feel special. Despite the fact that I can see Christmas all around me in Hong Kong, it is in stark contrast to Christmas in Southern California. And getting a small piece of home and the American Christmas just strikes that one chord with my heart. Doesn't everyone just love getting mail? I adore my family for sending their thoughts and affections by post. How effortlessly do they send it...So blessed, as always, with a wonderful family.

As for any brand new information on adjustments in Hong Kong, I have been keeping up with the job postings and need for English tutors to keep my options open in addition to the learning centre I'm currently working with. I discovered a private school who was seeking a teacher to finish the school year through August and with an immediate need in January. So, I've decided to accept this new teaching position working January 4th with a kindergarten class of 30 students, and in addition I will continue to work for a few months with the children I currently tutor on the weekends. I've already fallen in love with these kids and I'm not ready to leave them, so I guess that means I'm a busy bee, but I'm once more excited about what is to come. So many changes! So much to do! So much opportunity!

Views of the Metropolis

Lan Kwai Fong (Carnivale Food - there's always a celebration in LAN KWAI)







Experiencing hookah the Mediterranean-Hong Kong way




Finally, ah... (The Victoria Peak in the afternoon)



Hong Kong Jockey Club - The Races (with new friend, Shoko)





Mrs. Field's cookies - a piece of home!

Turkey Dressed with Gravy Boat and Friends

Thanksgiving. A time to give your family --love. To show that you are grateful for their place in your life. To break bread. Being away from so many loved ones this year was difficult. Never having been away from my sisters, parents, and grandparents during the holidays, the experience was rather jarring. I actually was under the distinct impression I would be getting a) no turkey and no mashed potatoes b) no family and c) no celebration. As exciting as it is to be in a foreign city with the lights of the skyscrapers, the city lacks any foresight on this holiday. Unless you're an American, you've barely heard of the existence of this "Turkey Day."

How grateful was I when an invitation to a holiday dinner popped up a few days before the event? I met some friendly, genuine people, at a residence in Pukfu Lam, half of which attend a local church in North Point, a little more than twenty minutes from home. Of course, besides the great people, there was turkey, mashed potatoes, green beans, stuffing, and such...there was dessert! Pecan pie, buttercream pie, and banana cream pie, oh my! I'm not really a "foodie" when it comes to candies, cakes and cookies, but the banana cream was oh-so-fluffy looking, I really had to try it. Sooo very delicious! It almost made me a convert to sweet tooth-ism. (Suzy - it can NEVER touch the amazing depth of your thanksgiving pumpkin pie, but I digress....) Maybe the favorite part about attending the dinner, though, was the spectacular vista from the balcony of the 37th floor of a building high-rise with a sparkling marble-topped kitchen, large living and dining area, with pretty Christmas tree in deco lighting. Felt a little bit like home. So very American for Hong Kong. Even late at night, with just a few stars, and not too many lights with which to view the harbor, it was quite a sight. I never would have guessed I would be in a high-rise this Thanksgiving on a far-off continent. It was an experience. Even better, despite the fact that we were all foreigners in a strange land, we could relate to each other based on those feelings. Many of the Americans at this party were still fairly new and could sympathize with the cultural shocks of the personal space bubble-burst on the metro, the customs of expatriates versus local folk, and the Chinese-broken English-trying-tell-the-cab-driver-where-to-go-and-arrive-safely-under-100-hongkongdollars. There was good, old-fashioned prayer before the meal, intellectual conversation, friendly banter, and silly American humor. All in good fun. Good, clean fun.

The wind is beginning to pick up around here, and I'm noticing my nose tends to become a little more red starting from morning through afternoon. Despite the chill, my sweater still gives me too much insulation. I tend to sweat when I bundle up, or wear a sweater and/or boots, however my face feels the coolness on my lips, my hands, my toes, and around my eyelashes. I guess it is why they say winter cools off the extremities, right? I'll be sweating underneath my coat, but my nose is going to fall off my face. An adjustment indeed. What kind of place is this? haha

I've begun an exploration of the city for used and rare bookstores, as well as a look-see for coffee shops with cheap cappucinos, espressos and windows that show more than skyscrapers - preferably gardens and green trees. One such recent find is Pop Bites, an indie spot with white-washed walls, polished concrete floors, and favorite vinyl on the walls. They play recent hits, and even old boy band favorites. I actually heard Spice Girls and the nineties pop-ish Backstreet Boys on Monday afternoon. Supposedly, deejays spin after 8pm all throughout the week, depending on the day, however, I have only attended in the afternoon. The Christmas and holiday party invites for hip hong kongers are starting to pour into my email inbox, as I've recently added new Hong Kong online community newsletters and such to find frugal art events and fancy soirees to crash without paying an arm and a leg. It can be rather a charming chase to find ways to save money and somehow still have a good time. My landlord recently offered to buy me coffee after I called to thank Property Management for fixing the water heater. What hospitality! Hospitality with a free side of espresso. I'll take it!

So, to end on a good note, the weather outside is frightful, but the city is so delightful.

Illness, Congestion, and Computer Software Meltdown

A glass of orange-brownish mud colored juice and a partially consumed ziplock of sunflower seeds, cashews and almonds sits next to my HP notebook computer. This is an unusual day not only because I am typing on my computer, but because the sun is actually in full force today. I wish I could enjoy the weather as much as I desire to, however, I need to be heading home again very soon. The comforts of my pillow are the only solace to a head cold- along with a traumatic headache. I started coming down with some sort of cough last week, and I must admit the weakness and fatigue is starting to get to me. I have good days and bad days. Today is a good day because the sun is out, but a bad day because the headache is slowly turning into a migraine.

The other reason today is an unusual day is because I am typing on my very own keyboard. My computer hasn't allowed me to access my programs or documents for the last few weeks, which has made e-mails and blogs very difficult. Internet cafes are simply not enough...I picked up my brand-spanking rescued notebook today from the HP Customer Center after reconciling myself to the fact that I lost some important documents on my computer. I think it is a small price to pay for the use of my laptop once more! My hardware is in intact, so no major harm done. I was starting to feel naked. I'll be downloading some photos today so you'll be traversing the Asian countryside yet with visions of Lan Kwai Fong, the IFC, and the Victoria Peak. Patience...

My first week of classes ended and I'm excited for this week's stories. My students have been tremendously sweet and encouraging to me. Last Thursday I had the realization that my name was too difficult. Every time I met a new student and one of the parents, I would introduce myself and get a similar response. First a sounding of a few of the syllables in K-i-m-b-e-r-l-y and then the look of confusion, struggle, with a slight smile. Usually this was followed by the obvious statement. "Your name is really difficult." It was time for change.

Come Saturday, I decided to begin writing my name on the board as "Miss Kimi." This is already beginning to stick. My classes with the grade 1 students (8-9 years) includes some basic essay writing. The name "Miss Kimi" is starting to appear in the fictious plotlines. Apparently, I can walk from Victoria Peak to the local park to Central Station all in the span of ten minutes. Really progressive! In all seriousness, though, the classes show some serious promise. The very young children have short attention spans, which will take some adjustment on my part, however, I am discovering a hidden talent. I haven't used my singing voice in some time and it seems to be one of the easiest parts of this job as a teacher. Even better, the children are so quick to laugh, which is such an inspiration to me as I am daily running into unexpected little stressors, like this cough, or meeting strangers and adapting. Sometimes life here is just so very different from home. But, in the end, I know why I am here and when I see the children, it makes me so happy.

A reading I came across yesterday really seemed to prey on my heart, so I wanted to share it today. Even when things seem foreign, strange, unknown, and difficult in Hong Kong, I am so aware that I am loved. I don't have much money, but it isn't about having a BlackBerry (my phone is broken) or having the clothes, or having anything but...just enough. There is no redemption except through this love that comes to me as a Christian, and also as a daughter, a sister, and a friend. Thank you, all of you, for that.

"For as much as you know that you were not redeemed with corruptible things, as silver and gold, from your vain conversation received by tradition from your fathers; But with the precious blood of Christ..." (1 Peter 1:18-19)

First Day of School

Devoted Fans:



I've been sick the last few days and have been keeping it (I want to say cool, but I suppose that is not appropriate.) rather warm. Staying indoors, listening to the rain, and trying to nurse my sore throat, cough, and cold with some hot tea. There's a lot of that stuff out here in Hong Kong! Today is my first day as a teacher and I will tell you more when I have gone through the whole day. In the meantime, just know that this has been a hard week for me. With the weather getting colder, the wind picking up, and then, of course, the adjustment of being in a new city, I'm already beginning to miss home a bit.
Macau - Robert, Laura, Pravin, Alex



I don't think getting sick helped. I'm really excited for my first day, though. I haven't uploaded too many photographs, so I thought it was about time that I made some space for those. Sorry for not enough cityscapes, but the problem is that my computer is missing in action. I've been running around just trying to download what I can onto public computers when I'm drinking my hot tea or sipping my soup du jour. Dragon-I, with Johnny, the local spot on Hollywood Road



I slipped on my tall boots, jet black skirt and matching jacket with bright crimson scarf and on my way. I may have looked very New York, except for the large California-movie-star sunglasses. Sometimes I just can't help myself. I want to look like I'm from out of town. I'm on the way to traverse the slings and arrows of the metro system today. The main trial is getting through the subway without too many people breathing on you or subjecting one to excessive bodily odor. Ugh. If I can step off the MTR feeling clean, it is a good day. As it is, I still enjoy how simple it is to walk everywhere without an automobile. Sometimes I miss that little Nissan Sentra at home, though. She's a little beauty. But now she's gone - little Lightning. So many memories with that speedster. Ah well. Today's classes are on speech and drama for the grade one children (8-9 years) and I'll be marking scores based on energy, pronounciation and facial/body expression and movement! I can't wait. After all, who is more passionate than I am? I must be a good judge of someone's enthusiasm and sincerity when playing a part, right? The last picture is at Cafe O, my favorite spot to drink cappucinos or yummy panini grilled sandwiches. Free wireless is at almost every cafe, so this isn't new, but I've already begun to make friends with the staff in Central and Sheung Wan, where my new apartment/flat is located, so I feel "at home" here than almost anywhere else. And on that lovely note, I leave you to the rest of your week's happenings. Au Revoir...until next time.
Cafe O - Erick, Kimberly

Unique Impressions, Pedestrian Walkways, Bloody Fun

Welcome to Hong Kong, I told myself as I stepped off the runway of Eva Air just one week ago. Where to begin?

hustle | bustle | noise of the city | fascinatemethrillme

So a few notes about the strangeness of coming to a new city, and a foreign land. For one, the way a person crosses the street. When I was in California, I would rarely walk anywhere except to enjoy the landscape. When in Hong Kong, I am walking through the city to travel from point A to point B. Normally, the walking at "home" in the United States would include a cappucino and perhaps a book, with a final stopping point at which to sit and watch the sunset or open the pages of that book. That was my Newport Beach routine. Here, I may travel to the MTR (the subway) to get to Wan Chai or Sheung Wan to look at flats in the nearby area, walk from the Yaumatei station in Kowloon in order to get to school, or walk down the road to an internet cafe or coffee shop to check my e-mails. I suppose I continue to sip cappucinos, although admittedly, I had to cut down caffeine almost immediately on the budget in order to save costs. The way I cross the street is different as well. I brush my hand lightly over this yellow box, instead of pushing a button. The signal lights up in Chinese red characters and English lettering which politely say, "Please wait." I wait and the little green guy appears across the street with a familiar clicking sign, telling me to cross. The pedestrian crosswalks look much the same as the U.S. crosswalks, however the simple technology advancements of the hand "brushing", versus the button-pushing in America makes me think I am really am in a new territory with new rules. Technology. Gotta love it.

Simple enough, right? Okay. Next item of difference. This may not seem like a big deal to a resident expatriate (expat, as we are affectionately called) from the UK, but for American expats the cars are driving on the opposite side of the road. It reminds me of London. The first few hours of walking and moving around the city make one disoriented. Then you adjust. I've already grown accustomed to looking right, then left, instead of vice versa. However it is a phenom of small proportion. One to laugh about. More importantly, the type of people I've been meeting are so varied. I was introduced to several people already from a friend I have in Hong Kong. Friday night included dinner at Tokyo Joe's, a Japanese restaurant of sorts, to Racks, a billiards spot with good cocktails and interesting faces. After Racks, one saunters over to Volar, which is a difficult spot to be admitted unless you know someone. Apparently, I've networked with the right people. Unlike home, the night is just beginning at 12am in Hong Kong, whereas Newport Beach always seemed to be "popping" around that time, but guaranteed, all crowds are pushed home at 2:00am unless you want to grab a 24-hour pizza at Laventina's. Not so here. The closest thing I might be able to compare in the city that never sleeps - New York. Living in a big city has its advantages - cuisine, convenience, transportation, culture, interest, nothing dull in any minute. Living in a bit city has its disadvantages - pretension, arrogance, clutter, smog. The intangibles seem to outweigh the bad. As far as the variance of people, I would say that Hong Kong attracts an intelligent plethora of educated persons, some genuine and some not quite so genuine. I have much to learn when it comes to knowing the nuances of graciousness, levels of manners, culture, when to say yes, when to say no, and how this affects a basic conversation to one that is more than simple acquaintance.

After one evening, I found myself almost pushed into a wall when I was trying to dance. This young girl not much taller or bigger than me wanted to push inbetween the crowds instead of going around the crowds. This is much like my experience on the streets of the city. When one is walking on a sidewalk, there is often a push - not a gentle push, but not quite impolite either. It is just the way of things. People are used to getting their way around here, and taking it, rather than asking for it. One must get used to it. Over the weekend, I attended an event across the harbor in Macau, and there was an afterparty at the Hard Rock Hotel where I met another English teacher and another two people who were closely connected to teachers. I met with a lot of friendly outreach and enthusiasm for teaching, and it seemed these people were interested to know more about my experience in Kowloon. (I don't have much to say since work will not start for another week.) However, the ability to network with such unique faces - many are from around the world - and so easily, it astonishes me. I love surprises. But, I really love good surprises!

In conclusion, I will say that at the start of my second week, I am ready to begin settling in. When I have a few downloaded photographs of the city, I will add them to the blog pages, but for now, I will say that the city has grabbed ahold of me. I am content.

What Is The Thing?

Sometimes the only way to explain a thing is not through words or conversations about the thing, but by an expression of the thing. If I can produce some sort of evidence the thing exists or that the thing is felt or done, I may be able to show what the thing is, begin to take apart its definition, or at least improve upon the amiguouity surrounding it. So, in this case, I will attempt to show the thing through a medium other than words - through music. Listen to this and try to understand.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v7JOnV0nOog

New Challenges

As the end of the year approaches, some brand new changes occur in the season. The leaves begin to fall off the trees, the Santa Ana winds blow through Southern California, and the temperature drops, as November rears its lovely head. With two holidays approaching, the feasts arrive. Thanksgiving, yum! Christmas dinner, delicious! But, most importantly, is the time of giving between family and friends as we celebrate so many of the special relationships we have.

I am so blessed to have such wonderful men and women in my life with beautiful smiles, and even more beautiful hearts. There are times when one is presented with such an opportunity to leave the familiar for a chance to succeed and test one's perseverance. My time has arrived. Leaving my home for a place I can barely begin to imagine the challenges and opportunities, I am excited and breathless with anticipation. Looking forward, I find so much to be thankful for in my life from this past year, and yet also so blessed to be given the chance to pursue my passion for culture and travel this very moment.

To Leave or Not To Leave

The days of summer get longer and longer, wielding the heat like a beacon of hope that vanishes just as it came in a few short months. As August draws near, the sunshine will diminish, and takes with it the remaining grasp we have on certain hopes. There is something to be said for the season. Winter is cold and depressing, while the Autumn sheds all its tears like the leaves off the branches, leaving us stripped and bare. Springtime holds promise, but does not fulfill all until Summer calls, with its high noon blue skies and precious rays. As for myself, I find that the Summer ending echoes by own feelings of hope stripped; no more ocean walks and bay breezes on any given day. I'm leaving the sand for the inland empire, trading in my carefree room with a view for a close study of mathematics, vocabulary, and of course accounting. (By accounting, I mean a magnifying glass centered on personal finance.)

Southern California is a strange land, pretending to be outside of any global crisis with all its pretty malls, beautiful people strutting, and even more beautiful people walking, talking, using plastic. Yet beneath the glamorous lifestyle lurks the truth of the impoverished glitterati. I know friends who have left the state after spending all their currency on high fashion and cocktails, then unable to pay for their own transportation or the roof over their hair-sprayed, color-treated head. What will it be? A vanilla latte and True Religion jeans or giving the landlord rent money? The lifestyle is simply not conducive to living below your means, unless one makes an attempt to walk the walk outside of the usual temptations. Yours truly is planning a comeback to a life well within the walls of old-fashioned conventions: work, study, make goals, achieve goals. None of this silly sorority perspective. There are a few good things about living in a dream land: Painting by the water, hearing the breeze on my back, feeling the windy rush as I tread the steps of the boardwalk, squishing the sand into my toes and rubbing tiny grains onto my tan skin, making patterns on my arms, by my elbows. Newport Beach is the land of the gorgeous children of the Golden State, but despite this one unfortunate trait, there are a few things more natural about the place. Which I will miss. It isn't all man-made sidewalks and restaurant food chains, and girls in too-short skirts and bikini tops. I will not thing so little of it. There is some charm left here, and despite my leave of the city and the departure of the sun, Summer is not the only season. Good things can happy at any time. Like happiness.

The Soundtrack of Significance

Some people walk into your life for a reason you cannot quite grasp. He might be significant. She might be funny. He might snort through his nose. She might yell out, "Beavers! Beavers! Beavers!" Why? Who knows? The world does not always makes sense when he's around or when she's laughing. But, somehow, you understand them. It is as if there is music when they are smiling. It is an inconstant thing: happy the next, sad the day after. But your friends are not inconstant. When things are grey, life is still sunny when you're around him. When she gives you a hug. The hardest part is turning around to walk away and not know why you can no longer hear the music. It does seem that some people might be in our lives for a very long time, but somehow they appear so far away. Maybe he has to move. Perhaps she's getting married. Regardless, you can still hear their soundtrack, the way the Earth tilts a little bit when they walk along the sidewalk. Maybe I can still listen to the rhythms...maybe I should be writing my own songs.

Ambition, Questions, and More?

I wonder sometimes, where does this passion come from? Recently, a person of some importance asked where motivation comes from, specifically, where do I derive my own motivation? My answer, "I am one of ambition. I look for my motivation from a good breakfast and a run at the end of the day or a tennis match. All I want is something to keep me healthy while I am naturally motivated to do my best." This is truth - this is an honest answer about my own motivation, but it sounds contrived because most of us aren't motivated, and even those who are have downtimes. I'm in a downturn and hardened because of it. I feel like a dog chasing her own tail, a hamster running inside her cage, a loser trapped behind the Performing Arts Building in High School, eating lunch alone again, rejected by anyone remotely confident. It is a strange feeling to be so alone when you have a relationship with a God who loves you dearly. How can one feel so alone? It isn't natural, right? I'm so grateful for receiving the bare necessities = the clothes on my back, the rooftop above me, frankly, for transportation in California ( MY car is mine. I own it 100 percent with no payments...yeeha.) - and yet I feel sad and morose. I'm struggling to find my ambition on some days because I'm exhausted from putting forth effort in a world of challenges. Not just challenges - Negativity. But, I am blessed. Truly. Before any of those bare essentials - fabric on my shoulders, a home, etc. - I have my family. Blessed with family. Even if things are crashing down all around me, I see the light at the end of the tunnel. It does not change the fact that I am utterly exhausted.

The Real Thing

Fantasy - a little time to myself. Is that possible?